Carpe Diem
by Zetsubel
Summary: She can't breath. She can't speak. He's fascinating, this enormous man who lives to kill her people. He interrupts her thoughts and takes over her mind. But she still feels so fufilled in the end. KisamexHinata /oneshot\\


OMG, this is such a depressing fic to me, but I had to do it. And it's almost six in the damn morning. e.e I kinda like oneshots. I'mma have to do more of these.

Enjoy! 8D

* * *

She knew it was wrong. It was so far beyond wrong. But really, she should have seen this coming.

Her favorite color had always been blue.

She could blame her dangerous fascination on that one character flaw in herself, but that didn't explain his acceptance of it. Was it just a game to him? Humoring the little girl with her silly crush until it became a nuisance? Was he in awe that despite his demonic appearance, she had asked to stay with him that night? It was stuttered, but heart-felt. Her good sense seemed to have flown out the proverbial window, and all it took was a glimpse of his battle prowess. There was something morbidly beautiful in the way he put his heart, body, and soul into maiming his enemy and basking in the shower of blood that typically followed. It was like poetry, black from Hell. Samehada practically sang to her as it swung.

He didn't have her cousin's tidy grace. He didn't have Naruto's clumsy good luck. He simply had his predator instinct to free himself to whenever opposed. No morals to tie him down or a weak stomach, or easily wrenched heart. She knew she could never match that bloodthirst, no matter how jaded she became. She would let the world eat her alive while he ate the world.

She remembered the first meeting. Her first true brush with death. It was after Naruto's fabled almost-kidnapping. Team 8 had no idea what they were running into. Kiba's nose had drawn them right into the enemy's perimeter. Their mission had gone above the cliché deliver-a-scroll D-rank. An upper C class mission, one of the firsts of many to come, they had been sent to a village in River Country, devastated by floods and landslides. Being the tracker team of their class, they had done Tsunade proud when it was reported that all villagers, survivors or otherwise, had been found and accounted for largely because of Hinata, Kiba and Akamaru, and Shino. Kurenai was immensely proud of her team and had rewarded them with an all-expenses paid night at an onsen on their journey back home. Hinata was the last one to give herself a pat on the back, but she couldn't contain her excitement that finally, FINALLY, she could report back to her dictator father and stoic cousin with a grade A complete mission.

Unfortunately, their trip home crossed paths with two Akatsuki on their way to Amegakure.

It was an innocent enough run-in. The sweets stand she was splurging on for cinnamon rolls just happened to serve the sweetest, stickiest, most melt-in-your-mouth dango in that village. Her chance of turning away and bouncing off the chest of a tree-sized man was imminent. While she fumbled with her precious box of treats, the giant and his companion froze with a stillness that, after several confrontational and bloody missions, Hinata would come to recognize from the deadliest of the ninja population. At that point, however, all she recognized was that she had run into someone rudely, and was reminded of her run-ins with big men -boys- in her past. She quickly bowed low, low enough for both men to see the pale white of the back of her neck and the knot of her hitai-ate, apologizing profusely and turning scarlet. A small amused snort had come from the one she ran into, and the two figures had simply moved around her when there was obviously no threat from the Konoha genin.

Hinata had stood there briefly to watch the red clouds and straw hats in curiosity, temptation winning over. She had activated a mild version of her Byakugan, shin obi suspicion tickling her senses. It was much too hot out to be dressed that way unless you had something to hide. Her already abused heart had stuttered to a halt when the smaller of the two gave her a brief glance over his shoulder. The absolute threat of death that small gesture ensured had brought tears of terror rushing to her eyes. She blinked, and they were gone.

She never told Kiba or Shino. They would only worry, and Kiba would be on a manhunt.

But she couldn't forget that massive aura, that oozing raw power she saw in the giant man.

It would stay in a safe little corner, tucked in the darkness in the back of her mind the way a memorable dream would. You'd never remember it without a trigger.

Her trigger was pulled years later when Team Kakashi and Team 8 had merged together on another fruitless mission to recapture Sasuke. After the confrontation with the masked Akatsuki, the band of ninja had skirted the Amaterasu only to discover another failure. The dilapidated building had been destroyed, and there wasn't so much as a spatter of blood left of the Uchiha brothers. Her heart wept for Naruto, even as he insisted on Team 8 scouring the area for any clues. Kakashi had quietly obliged, even knowing how futile the effort would be.

Hinata's Byakugan had led her straight to Hoshigaki Kisame winding up a skirmish with a team who looked to be about her own age. The heir had stumbled so close to the battle she was surprised they hadn't noticed her. It didn't seem like a serious battle at first, but the air was so thick with murderous intent…

A roaring battle cry broke through her fear and dragged her attention to the Akatsuki. First impression: He was a monster. Skin a ghastly pale blue; beady eyes bloodshot with the thrill of killing; daggers for teeth; gills that ruffled ever so slightly in excitement. It froze her blood in place and took the air from her lungs. She couldn't breath. The boy he was fighting, white-haired and with teeth just as fearsome stretched into a feral grin, jumped from his laxed position and lunged for the shark man.

_Click. _

Hinata's breath returned with an audible whoosh. The bandaged weapon blocked the boy's zanbatou easily, sending the boy skidding backward with a loud 'clang'. The boy was completely undeterred; if anything he looked pleased. His grin widened, muscles bulged to inhuman proportions, and he attacked again, faster than before, repeated blows over and over again. Each time the bandaged weapon blocked at the last second, and Hinata thought the boy would overtake the man.

She would quickly realize her mistake.

"Suigetsu! The battle's over! Sasuke's gone! We have to go!"

The redheaded girl off to the side shouted for him, and he turned his head just slightly. The man was having none of that. Or was it even a conscious thought? Hinata shook her head slightly, eyes wide and unblinking, trained on the man. No, it wasn't conscious thought that the man followed the boy, giving him no time to rest, finally going on the offensive and backing the small group into a corner until they fled. He had given himself over entirely to his animalistic instinct to kill, the same instinct all of humanity and especially shin obi had imprinted in their DNA. Hinata's own animal had bubbled in recognition. It was just a ripple, unnoticed by her conscious self, and weighed down with the sympathy and kindness that being on the bottom rung of the ladder had given her. But it was there.

"A.. mazing…"

He faced her squarely. Her Byakugan watched the galaxy of his chakra calm as his brief inspection of her deemed her no threat. Fear and repulsion had roused her from her awed stupor like ice water in the face. How could such blatant disregard for life be amazing? She had no problems picturing this mountain of a man standing ankle deep in a field of corpses and mangled limbs and blood and shit. He'd be covered in the muck and gore, grinning and licking it from his lips, head thrown back in ecstasy and beady eyes staring unseeing at the dark sky, black clouds tinted orange by the sunset, like the world had relented under his restless thumb.

It was a beautiful image in her mind. Her animal rippled again. Her humanity screamed.

In less time than it took her to blink, one enormous blue hand was wrapped lazily around her slender throat, with just the smallest hint of pressure. His leering face was inches from her own, and this close, she could have used Jyuuken to at least free herself from his stranglehold. But, strangely, the idea made her balk. Nevermind that she would probably loose her hand first, she simply didn't want to cause any harm to this prime specimen of the hidden animal in humans. He was an alpha, and she was a peon to revere his superiority.

His thumb, rough with innumerable callouses, brushed the underside of her lower lip tenderly. A whimper lodged in her throat. The man sneered and met her gaze with his own, unfazed by the Byakugan.

_Yellow eyes_, she registered dully. Not the beady black she had assumed them to be. For some unfathomable reason, that little revelation made her feel better.

His eyes sharpened, intent, as if he were looking for something in the blank slates of her eyes. Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him, for he straightened to his full height and slid past her, trailing that big hand over the line of her jaw. Hinata trembled in place long after he was gone. It took the sounds of her teammates searching for her in the underbrush to snap her out of her reverie. She slumped limply to her knees, blinking rapidly to clear her mind of the cotton confusion there.

Her team found her standing again after she gathered her wits, and shook her head in the negative when asked if she found anything. For some reason, it seemed… wrong. To discuss her run-in with the Hoshigaki Kisame. It seemed too… intimate.

The next time she would see him would be the night before Pein destroyed her home. She was training beside a creek that emptied into the river that led to the Final Valley. She chose an area where the water had pooled in an uneven oval before continuing on. Her coat was discarded despite the crisp night. Her breaths came in small visible puffs. She liked to inject a little endurance training against the weather into her physical training. Whatever made her grow stronger. The moon was full, casting an eerie glow on the calm waters of the pond. Her faux opponent was a jutting boulder beside the water. It was her height, giving her a little more of a realistic target. It was during a sweeping high kick that awareness zinged to life. She froze for only half a second before the pond erupted in a vicious wave that slammed her against the rocky cliffs lining the creek.

Her head cracked against the rocks and ribs cracked. Hinata barely choked in air before a familiar pressure was crushing her throat, this time with the full force of his animal behind it. That monstrous face was back, his hitai-ate digging into her forehead as yellow met silver. This was a whole new ball game. To be under the full brunt of that killer glare… Hinata felt her legs give out. His grip didn't slacken in the least. She was forced to tunnel through the dizziness and pain to get her feet back under her and stop strangling herself.

She gagged, and blood oozed from the corner of her mouth, black in the darkness. She had a punctured lung somewhere from the blow. Those beady eyes followed the trail hungrily. His grip tightened, crunching, before he grabbed her by the mesh of her shirt and launched her over his head and out across the water. He was there again in an instant, snatching her from midair as he stood on the water, and slamming her under the surface, holding her down. She was given no chance to even think about holding any breath.

The animal in her boiled, and out of sheer panic of the threat of death, she unleashed her chakra, realizing dimly that she was submerged in her element. Bullets of water shot from the surface, aimed sloppily for his tenketsu points. The shots went wide, but managed to slash across his face deep enough to bleed. Even in her frenzied state she had enough sense of mind to shoot for those soft, fleshy gills on his cheekbones. A particularly large shot sliced right across the gills of his left cheek. He grunted and reeled back from the onslaught.

Hinata burst from the water with a painful gasp of air, pushing herself onto the surface with her chakra and stumbling backward away from him. Her first thought was to heal her lung before she bled to death or drowned in her own blood. She did so quickly, staring at him through a haze of pain and confusion and panic, wary. It was a sloppy heal, but she didn't have the time for precision. Here he came again.

Her Byakugan shot to life as she dodged the first swipe, then the second. He wasn't even bothering to unsheathe his Samehada on her. Just grabbing for her, wanting more personal torture than death by shaving.

When she couldn't move fast enough, she used Jyuuken to fend off his fists. It worked, but only because he was toying with her. Even she could tell. Tears of frustration welled. Why couldn't he just kill her outright? Why terrorize her like this, with the knowledge that she couldn't win? He taunted her, just a centimeter closer with each lazy strike. A burst of jet-propelled water from behind, and she was sailing straight for the Akatsuki monster.

If she was going down, she thought with finality, she was taking a chunk of him with her. Rather than fighting the water, she used a burst of her own chakra to rocket forward faster than what he expected. Her teeth clamped down on his exposed neck, the nails of her chakra-infused right hand digging into his face with the intent of shredding his face before he killed her. The chakra would leave scars in his face forever. He would never be allowed to forget her.

The killer intent pouring from his being vanished suddenly. Rather than punch straight through her, the way she was expecting, his thick arms came around her small frame in a soothing embrace.

Stunned, her concentration vanished along with her chakra output. She slid down limply in his arms, hand dropping.

"There, there." Did that condescending sneer in his rasping voice EVER go away? She doubted it. "Calm down, girl. That's it. Relax, I'm done playing."

That familiar giant hand patted the back of her head like an adult consoling a toddler. A violent shudder worked up her spine. Her bangs clung to his wet clothes as she went completely limp, a sob slipping from her lips. What was he _doing_? What did he _want_?

She whispered as much between choked sobs. He just chortled deep in his chest. The sound vibrated against her cheek.

"I saw it. I saw what you could be." He sounded so pleased with himself. "Can you feel it? You were going to mark me for life. Permanent damage. Did you feel the satisfaction? The maddening lust for my blood between your fingers?"

He drew back and held her up with his large, rough hands on her cheeks, gazing at her in his own satisfaction. "That something so small and so weak against the world could still hold that kind of beast inside… Isn't it just beautiful?"

Hinata found her footing, knees shaking with the effort. Her small, pale hands came up to rest on his wrists. "N-no… I'm not… It's…"

"Human nature," he finished for her, giving her cheek a pat. "You look pampered, for a kunoichi. Don't look at me like that, girl, you know it's true. If you had had my childhood…"

Here his grin turned bloody ferocious. "Ah, well. Let's not worry about that now. You look tired."

He dragged her to dry land and yanked off his own cloak for her to lay on. He sat beside her against the trunk of a weak, craggy tree growing from a crack in the cliff face. Hinata turned her head to look at him. He sat with his knees bent and elbows resting atop them, watching her with wide eyes like.. Like a hungry shark.

She looked away to avoid that stare, hand coming up weakly to heal the bruises and crushed muscles in her neck. When that was finished she dropped her hand lifelessly. There really was no point. He was probably going to kill her anyway. But any distraction against those eyes was welcome.

"It was some surprise, coming across you like that."

She shivered against the chill of the night and slowly turned to face the giant again. The round, white moon gave his blue flesh an unearthly glow.

"Not entirely unpleasant, though. I was hoping to see you again before one of us died." He snickered. "It was so amusing, seeing your inner killer fight so valiantly to overcome your weak little shell. I have to admit I was impressed. Your self-preservation is surprisingly strong for such a… mousy kunoichi."

He sighed through his nose when she tried to sit up, body wracked with shivers. A thickly muscled arm stretched out to wrap around her waist to drag her back against his hard chest. Hinata inhaled sharply and stiffened. She looked up. He was frowning, as if suddenly realizing how rash his actions had been. The idea of someone as fearsome as Hoshigaki Kisame in such a state brought a panicked giggle to her lips, no humor behind it.

Silence hung over them like a miasma. Whatever beast Kisame claimed she had, it had abandoned her. Now she just felt bone-tired. Resigned. Because she knew he was right. She had loved seeing such a blatant display of power that day in the forest. She was in awe of him. And if something about her amused him…

"Why…"

Kisame waited for her to look at him before answering. "I told you. It's fun to watch you try and be so tough. The potential's there, but you would never allow it. You're too soft."

Hinata glared, veins around her eyes standing out. She finally just hung her head. It was nothing she hadn't heard before. She was too soft, too sweet, too sympathetic. She wanted to be kind, but strong. Apparently you couldn't have both.

"Like a moth to a flame."

Hinata turned her face back up. "W-what?"

"It's that innocence that draws me in, I think." He sneered down at her from the corner of his eye. "It's something I never had, but is intriguing as long as I'm not burdened with it."

The couple fell silent for a little while. Hinata shifted to sit sideways, pressing her ear against his heartbeat. It wasn't hard to find. The man truly was a giant. It felt like his entire heart would be the size of her head.

"So… A-am I."

He grunted in question. Hinata pursed her lips. "Your… Bloodlust. I don't think.. I-I've ever been so angry… It's not something.. I could bring myself to be. A… "

"Monster?"

She nodded slowly. "But… At the same time…"

"You want it without having to experience it."

Another agonized nod. This revelation about herself was tearing at her conscience.

His chin rested on top of her head. "We make quit a pair, hm?"

She lulled into unconsciousness after that. He was big, thickly muscled, warm. The girls her age had always gone after the elegantly strong, slender muscled boys, like Sasuke. Nestled here, in the darkness with an enemy S-ranked ninja that had just tried to kill her, Hinata thought that maybe the reason she only ever had one crush like that was because muscles felt so good under her fingertips.

She told Naruto the next day she loved him. She wasn't lying. She did and always would. He wasn't someone you could just unlove.

She sacrificed herself for him. Still she couldn't regret this decision. The only thing she did manage before being impaled, was a small _Sorry Kisame-san _in the back of her mind.

He checked up on her a week later, after night had once again fallen and the healing villagers of Konoha were done with the rebuilding project for the day. Even the Hyuuga compound had been lost. Yamato had erected a temporary and must smaller estate for them in the meantime. Hinata went wondering again, though she couldn't figure out why.

That was a lie she told herself. She was forced to share a room with Hanabi and just needed air. She knew she just wanted another chance meeting with her enemy. His words rang clearly in her head.

_A moth to a flame.._

She allowed herself a small blush, feeling like a wanton girl out to meet a secret lover. It was inappropriate in so many ways. Not only was he twice her age, but he was part of the criminal organization that had destroyed her home and killed her. She would never forget the absolute nothingness of dying, even if only for three seconds before Sakura restarted her heart. It had stretched for an eternity. But it was worth it. She never stopped believing that her sacrifice had been worth everything.

A cold kunai to the throat made her pause.

"Very unwise. I could kill you and bleed you dry before you even registered you were dead."

Hinata swallowed quietly and turned to face him, eyes shimmering with childish anticipation. "Kisame-san…"

He snorted and rolled his eyes, withdrawing the kunai. Honestly, the girl had the body of a twenty-year-old vixen and the trusting nature of a two-year-old.

But maybe vixen was stretching it. Large breasts beneath the bulk of her coat, too-wide hips. That was his type, admittedly, but she was so… short. She was eye-level with his elbow. It was comical.

Too bad his blackness wanted her light.

"You're not dead. I'm surprised."

Hinata smiled softly. He just grinned a sharky grin and rested a hand atop her head. She shocked him by leaning into the touch. His eyes hooded, he drew her forehead gently against his chest. Hinata closed her silver eyes and relaxed. He wanted something of hers. She wanted something of his. The yin-yang sign of her family had never seemed more ironic.

* * *

Hinata gazed down at the scratched forehead protector branding her secret as her enemy. Her fingertips ran across the gape in the metal, over his temple, brushing gills that had grown whole again since her attack tore them off. Kisame kept his eyes closed, relishing this small bit of kindness he permitted in his happily gory existence. Even sitting against the trunk of a pine tree, he was almost as tall as she was standing. She smiled gently and leaned down to kiss his hitai-ate. His trunk-sized arms came up around her middle, drawing her down enough for him to press his face between her breasts and inhale deeply of her scent. Vanilla and sugar and woman-sweat. Intoxicating.

Hinata's face darkened in color. Her arms came loosely around his head, leaning her face into his hair and mimicking his gesture. Musk and blood and that completely male scent that made her laugh in feminine delight.

One day they would have to clash again, this time in the real battlefield. The Akatsuki weren't gone. He was still in the top ten of the Bingo Book. And she was still a kunoichi of Konoha first and foremost.

But when the time came, they would meet with smiles, and when he finally snuffed out her light, he would stand in the middle of the war zone cradling her lifeless head against his neck, allowing the grief stricken loved ones to stab him down. His knees would give out, the way hers did after she gave him a final kiss, and they would lay side-by-side in the blood and gore of war. His ideal setting.

And the perfect image of how it _should be _in her mind_. _

* * *

Wow. Depressing end. But I LOVED it.

Like I said, six in the morning, slapping this together on pure whim. But not a total disaster, right? 8'D Night~


End file.
